Jan 25, 2009

Line By Line: Presidental Address (Jan 24, 2009)

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Title: 01/24/09: President Obama's Weekly Address
Author: President Barack Obama
News Source: whitehouse on YouTube
Release Date: Saturday, January 24, 2009 EST
Area: Washington, DC

Begin Article:

We begin this year and this Administration in the midst of an unprecedented crisis that calls for unprecedented action. Just this week, we saw more people file for unemployment than at any time in the last twenty-six years, and experts agree that if nothing is done, the unemployment rate could reach double digits.

And since Obama doesn't want to be blamed for this, as it is now under his watch, we need to do something right now.

Our economy could fall $1 trillion short of its full capacity, which translates into more than $12,000 in lost income for a family of four. And we could lose a generation of potential, as more young Americans are forced to forgo college dreams or the chance to train for the jobs of the future.

Hm.... I wonder where he gets his figures from. Seriously, what is the economy's "full capacity"?

In short, if we do not act boldly and swiftly, a bad situation could become dramatically worse.

And, in short, if Obama acts quickly, a bad situation will become dramatically worse, as I'm sure he will outline right now:

That is why I have proposed an American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan to immediately jumpstart job creation as well as long-term economic growth. I am pleased to say that both parties in Congress are already hard at work on this plan, and I hope to sign it into law in less than a month.

Hm... how does the government create jobs again? How do we jumpstart job creation, Obama?

It’s a plan that will save or create three to four million jobs over the next few years, and one that recognizes both the paradox and the promise of this moment - the fact that there are millions of Americans trying to find work even as, all around the country, there’s so much work to be done.

Oh, I thought the paradox of the moment was that Obama was planning on creating jobs out of thin air. Obama, please, you still haven't told us HOW you plan on creating/saving jobs. Could you please answer that?

That’s why this is not just a short-term program to boost employment. It’s one that will invest in our most important priorities like energy and education; health care and a new infrastructure that are necessary to keep us strong and competitive in the 21st century.

Okay okay okay...... HOW? Obama? Could you please... answer....?

Today I’d like to talk specifically about the progress we expect to make in each of these areas.

The progress that we espect to make but don't know how we expect to make it.

To accelerate the creation of a clean energy economy, we will double our capacity to generate alternative sources of energy like wind, solar, and biofuels over the next three years.

Oh boy. Here comes the new GREEN economy. Obama, I hate to break it to you, but that economy is going to fail. A green economy is a forced economy, and a forced economy is a failed economy because it cannot do what it wants to do when it wants to do it.

And, actually, does this mean that these are the new jobs?!

We’ll begin to build a new electricity grid that lay down more than 3,000 miles of transmission lines to convey this new energy from coast to coast. We’ll save taxpayers $2 billion a year by making 75% of federal buildings more energy efficient, and save the average working family $350 on their energy bills by weatherizing 2.5 million homes.

Woah woah woah, there. WE will weatherize 2.5 million homes. I thought for a moment that Obama said that we, as in the government, is going to weatherize 2.5 million homes. Where's those Right to Privacy people now?

To lower health care cost, cut medical errors, and improve care, we’ll computerize the nation’s health record in five years, saving billions of dollars in health care costs and countless lives.

Well, besides cost of paper and maybe transfer of records costs, how exactly does that cut billions in healthcare? Especially since computer glitches and hard drive failures are, well, bad for data. And actually, aside that, I thought that medical records were already being digitized, by the private sector (ie, not by the government).

And we’ll protect health insurance for more than 8 million Americans who are in danger of losing their coverage during this economic downturn.

Subsidized heatlhcare for everyone!

To ensure our children can compete and succeed in this new economy, we’ll renovate and modernize 10,000 schools, building state-of-the-art classrooms, libraries, and labs to improve learning for over five million students.

Um... no. Obama, that will improve the learning experiance not the actual learning. In order to imporve the actual learning, teachers are going to have to be better trained to a) teach and b) deal with trouble makers. It might also help if the Teachers' Union vanishes as well, because if they do, then that means that schools can fire bade teachers and raise the paygrade of good teachers. That is what will help education.

We’ll invest more in Pell Grants to make college affordable for seven million more students, provide a $2,500 college tax credit to four million students, and triple the number of fellowships in science to help spur the next generation of innovation.

And most likely, these increases in money will go to the poor kids who 90% of the time will drop out of school for bad grades anyway. Maybe instead of subsidies, we should find a way to decrease tuition. Not that the government can do that...

Finally, we will rebuild and retrofit America to meet the demands of the 21st century. That means repairing and modernizing thousands of miles of America’s roadways and providing new mass transit options for millions of Americans.

Um... Obama.... the roads belong to the states, not you.

It means protecting America by securing 90 major ports and creating a better communications network for local law enforcement and public safety officials in the event of an emergency. And it means expanding broadband access to millions of Americans, so business can compete on a level-playing field, wherever they’re located.

Obama's gon'na get me some In'trenet! MR. PRESIDENT YOU DO NOT CONTROL THAT! And by God if he takes it over!! Socialism Alert!! Socialism Alert!! Obama is going to take over dishing out Broadband! Prepare for a telecom/internet company government takeover!!

I know that some are skeptical about the size and scale of this recovery plan.

Oh, good. At least he's not stupid enough to think that all of us are socilists like him.

I understand that skepticism, which is why this recovery plan must and will include unprecedented measures that will allow the American people to hold my Administration accountable for these results.

Good. I like that. Unfortunatly, no one in the media is gonna give a crap to report these measurements, so it will all be for naught anyhow. Though I'm still not going to hold my breath for when these "measures" will appear.

We won’t just throw money at our problems - we’ll invest in what works.

Because if we were simply throwing money at the problem, then people might compare us to FDR, who simply through stuff at the wall to "see what sticks" (oh yes, FDR said that).

Instead of politicians doling out money behind a veil of secrecy, decisions about where we invest will be made public, and informed by independent experts whenever possible. We’ll launch an unprecedented effort to root out waste, inefficiency, and unnecessary spending in our government, and every American will be able to see how and where we spend taxpayer dollars by going to a new website called recovery.gov.

I can't wait to see Obama cut Government Jobs while saying that he's creating jobs. In fact, I think I'm going to have to wait - until Hell freezes over and the second thrid coming happens.

No one policy or program will solve the challenges we face right now, nor will this crisis recede in a short period of time.

This crisis may not go away for... uh... ten years! I'm going to have to work on this for ten years, ladies and gentlemen. Reelect me, 2016!

But if we act now and act boldly; if we start rewarding hard work and responsibility once more; if we act as citizens and not partisans and begin again the work of remaking America, then I have faith that we will emerge from this trying time even stronger and more prosperous than we were before.

Did you see it?! Did you see it?!?! "if we start rewarding hard work and responsibility once more"... Obama just admitted that we aren't rewarding hard work anymore. He just admitted that responsibility and hard work are NOT rewarded anymore. He just admitted that we are a socialist state because we reward everyone equally no matter how hard they try! Oh yes, people. We're there already, and Obama himself just confirmed it.

Thanks for listening.

No, thank you for the wonderful affirmation of socialism...

Thank you for choosing Line-By-Line! Good Bye!
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End Transcript.

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